"Roundheads and Ramblings"

July 2018

Getting Carded at the Ballot Box?

Posted on Tuesday, July 31, 2018 1:55 PM

One day last week, I issued a small Facebook rant about a political survey that refused to let me participate because I was over 65. Comments came quickly. Some were simply enraged voters; others attempted to explain why pollsters might not want our input. One friend suggested that maybe we old codgers are just too smart and experienced to be fooled.

Within the next few days, I was able to discover who commissioned the survey—a young newcomer to politics with an obvious agenda. But more important, I learned that the survey was uncontrolled and invalid from the start because it kept cropping up on my Facebook feed, a fact that would allow people—some people, at least—to respond multiple times, thus skewing the results. The second time I saw it, I tried checking the block that said I preferred not to reveal my name. Nope. “Thanks for your time.”

The third time, I lied, shaving a couple of decades off my age, and was welcomed. Now I could see the questions and discover the “issues” they were investigating. Um-hum! First, they asked my opinion of famous people—all two of them. The first was a universally admired historical figure, a spiritual leader dead for over fifty years. The second was a living political figure who has been ridiculed and publicly discounted. Answers were foregone conclusions.

Then we came to the meat of the survey—not issues at all, but the local race between an old politician and a challenger (who just happened to pay for the survey.) We started with the basics—Who are you going to vote for? (Grammar be damned!) The following questions—lots of them—took a carefully-worded legalistic approach:

· “What if we told you that Candidate A is a mafia boss, a felon with a lengthy criminal record, a slum landlord, a crook with an ill-gotten fortune in a bank in the Cayman Islands?”

· “What if we told you Candidate A believes the elderly and those with medical or mental infirmities should be put out of their misery like we do with old pets?”

· “What if Candidate A wants to double your taxes and take away all your government benefits?”

Notice that none of these are accusations or statements of fact. “We didn’t say that. We just asked how you would feel if we did tell you that.”

Repeat: “Who are you going to vote for?”

Then came the questions about the other candidate:

· “What if we told you Candidate B spends time reading to small children, living a healthy lifestyle, and petting puppies?”

· “What if we told you Candidate B gives money to charity and walks amid rainbows, flowers, and unicorns?”

· “What if Candidate B will lower your taxes and give you everything your heart desires?”

Now the clincher: “Who are you going to vote for?” (Again!)

I always assumed that the purpose of a survey was to let a political candidate know what the voters were thinking. If this survey is any example, that’s no longer the case. Here, the questions are designed to force the voter to think what the candidate wants him to think.

Do such tactics really work? I suspect they do sometimes, which makes it all the more important that we stand up and call fouls where we see them. What can you do? Pay attention to who says what. Know your candidates. And most important, get out there and vote. Nobody’s checking your age at the ballot box.

It Takes So Little . . .

Posted on Friday, July 27, 2018 2:46 PM

I was not having a particularly good day today. A brief rain shower had simply turned the world into a steam bath, I've been a little under the weather with a stomach bug, and now I was whittling away at a growing list of chores. The proofs of my new book were waiting at home, begging for me to finish the careful line-editing they needed. I had spend too long standing in lines at the bank and the post office. And now, here I was, standing in another long checkout line at the grocery store.

As the cashier started to sort through and unload my cart in some sort of order known only to her frowning concentration, I could tell that the little old lady behind me was staring intently at my purchases. Now, you need to know two things before you judge what happened:

(1) I'm a little old lady, too. We were both pushing eighty, so you can't accuse me of being "age-ist."

(2) I had the requisite items in there--eggs, zucchini, corn, bread, Ritz crackers, applesauce, peanut butter, bananas--boring stuff--maybe not entirely virtuous but reasonably healthy.

When she caught my eye, she grinned and put her hand on my shoulder:

SHE: "I like your shopping list--wine and cookies--all the necessities."

ME: "And cat food--don't forget the cat food."

SHE: "Absolutely! Life's good!"

And she high-fived me. As our hands met over our heads, i could see that everyone around us was smiling--cashier, bag-girl, customers. My day got better from then on.

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July 2018

Getting Carded at the Ballot Box?

It Takes So Little . . .