"Roundheads and Ramblings"

Principles

A Baker's Dozen of Birthday Resolutions

Posted on Friday, May 04, 2012 4:17 PM

I tend to make resolutions in May rather than January. Birthdays do that to me. This year, I'm sticking with just one: that I will stop and think before I believe anything I read or hear. Here are some of the messages I've learned to think about carefully.

"Yes, of course your new kitten is litter box trained." OK, maybe, but I'll line the bottom of his carrier with lots of newspaper before I try to take him home.

"Dearly beloved, I am writing to you because I have been assured of your veracity." Do people really talk like that any more? Apparently the only ones that do are orphans in Nigeria who need help getting a small fortune safely deposited in an American bank – or British lawyers that have just discovered that I am the only surviving heir to the fabulously wealthy Lord Muckety Muck of Trentwell-on-Thames. There are some e-mails I just don't answer.

"This won't hurt a bit." Oh, really? Why mention it, then? Forgive me if I see that phrase as my cue to hunch my shoulders and clench my teeth, particularly if a needle is somewhere nearby. Let's face it. Even small children see through that one.

"Grandma's Home Cookin'." Yes, she must be cooking at home, because the fellow in the kitchen with the bare biceps and a sweaty rag tied around his forehead doesn't look like anyone's Granny to me. And menu items such as a super-thick, triple cheeseburger smothered in onions and hot peppers and accompanied by chili cheese fries doesn't sound like anything that ever graced our vegetable-laden family dinner table.

"Huge Going Out of Business Sale. We've lost our lease, so shop quickly." I'll be back in a year or so. Chances are good that the same stuff will be waiting on the shelves. In fact, I suspect there are some stores that only open so they can start holding closing sales.

"Easy assembly. Even a child can do it." It will take hours to put this piece of furniture together. Worse, it will require seven tools that I do not own, and at least two burly stevedores to manhandle the pieces together.

"No interest until 2013." Yes, but after that, the interest will be 120% per month, and some guy will follow you around with a baseball bat aimed at your kneecaps.

"The greatest movie ever filmed." If it were really that great, they wouldn't have to announce the fact. This one is probably a re-make of a movie you saw as a teenager, now updated with the current heart-throbs playing roles they don't understand. You can only hope that the director hasn't done anything too silly, such as making historical figures use the latest slang or dress in modern garb.

"Lose ten pounds by the weekend." Short of chopping off a limb, I doubt that this is possible. This one is right up there with "I lost two hundred pounds and you can, too."

"The only cleaning tool you'll ever need to buy." Nothing does everything. If it's a monster of a vacuum, I'll only spill little things in cracks.. If it fits in tiny spaces, it will take forever to accomplish big jobs. And even if it's perfect for everything, it will get misplaced, or borrowed, or stolen.

"Men working ahead." Or "Your tax dollars at work." Oh, there may be men ahead, and they are probably pocketing your tax money, but the chances of them working are pretty slim. They'll be standing in a group talking about work, perhaps, or watching the traffic go by, but you won't see much hard labor as you whiz by the work zone.

"We need more rules of ethics." Absolutely, but don't expect those rules to apply to any politician who makes such an announcement.

"Unbreakable." Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Want to bet?

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10 Ways To Improve your Life and Your Outlook on It

Posted on Thursday, August 04, 2011 7:11 PM

For the past two days I've been fighting the 3-digit heat wave without the benefit of air-conditioning. The unit is fixed now, thanks to a very talented AC man, but more complications lie ahead. Starting tomorrow, I'll be working non-stop on my favorite charity's biggest fund-raiser of the year. The Mid-South Lions Sight and Hearing Service provides free vision and hearing care for indigent patients in TN, AR, MO, and MS. We're holding a casino night, a silent auction, and then a formal dinner with a live auction. If you're in the Memphis area, come on over to the Marriott East Saturday night and join us. Dinner is $80.00 per person, but you do not need to buy a dinner ticket to bid on the silent auction items.

Instead of complaining or losing my cool because I have no free time to write, I've been looking for blogging items I could pass on to you. This is one of my favorites. It was originally published by Tony Schwartz, the president and CEO of The Energy Project and the author of Be Excellent at Anything. Enjoy! And I'll see you back here on Monday.

What enduring principles can you rely on to make choices that reflect openness, integrity and authenticity?

1. Always challenge certainty, especially your own. When you think you're undeniably right, ask yourself "What might I be missing here?" If we could truly figure it all out, what else would there be left to do?

2. Excellence is an unrelenting struggle, but it's also the surest route to enduring satisfaction. Amy Chua, the over-the-top "Tiger Mother," was right that there's no shortcut to excellence. Getting there requires practicing deliberately, delaying gratification, and forever challenging your current comfort zone.

3. Emotions are contagious, so it pays to know what you're feeling. Think of the best boss you ever had. How did he or she make you feel? That's the way you want to make others feel.

4. When in doubt, ask yourself, "How would I behave here at my best?" We know instinctively what it means to do the right thing, even when we're inclined to do the opposite. If you find it impossible, in a challenging moment, to envision how you'd behave at your best, try imagining how someone you admire would respond.

5. If you do what you love, the money may or may not follow, but you'll love what you do. It's magical thinking to assume you'll be rewarded with riches for following your heart. What it will give you is a richer life. If material riches don't follow, and you decide they're important, there's always time for Plan B.

6. You need less than you think you do. All your life, you've been led to believe that more is better, and that whatever you have isn't enough. It's a prescription for disappointment. Instead ask yourself this: How much of what you already have truly adds value in your life? What could you do without?

7. Accept yourself exactly as you are but never stop trying to learn and grow. One without the other just doesn't cut it. The first, by itself, leads to complacency, the second to self-flagellation. The paradoxical trick is to embrace these opposites, using self-acceptance as an antidote to fear and as a cushion in the face of setbacks.

  8. Meaning isn't something you discover, it's something you create, one step at a time. Meaning is derived from finding a way to express your unique skills and passion in the service of something larger than yourself. Figuring out how best to contribute is a lifelong challenge, reborn every day.

9. You can't change what you don't notice and not noticing won't make it go away. Each of us has an infinite capacity for self-deception. To avoid pain, we rationalize, minimize, deny, and go numb. The antidote is the willingness to look at yourself with unsparing honesty, and to hold yourself accountable to the person you want to be.

10. When in doubt, take responsibility. It's called being a true adult.

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Principles

A Baker's Dozen of Birthday Resolutions

10 Ways To Improve your Life and Your Outlook on It