Yesterday, I finally hired an editor for my upcoming novel. Then I worried about sending her the first chapters without doing a quick edit myself to catch the really dumb mistakes. After a couple of hours of editing this morning, I took a break, but I couldn't get away from grammar and punctuation. On Facebook I found people playing a new game: creating bar jokes involving grammar and punctuation. So here, for your enjoyment -- or befuzzlement -- are some of the best ones I discovered.
- A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
- A question mark walks into a bar?
- Two "quotation marks" walk into a bar.
- The bar was walked into by a passive verb.
- Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
- A spell checker want into a bar and preceeded to get waisted.
- A worn out simile went into a bar, had a shot and a Red Bull chaser, and then ran like a bat out of hell.
- A subordinating conjunction walked into a bar because it was thirsty.
- A colon walks into a bar for one reason: to drink.
- A split infinitive decides to boldly walk into a bar.
- Always a verb in a bar.
- An adverb walks into a bar thirstily.
- A run on sentence walks into a bar and sits and drinks and leaves and comes back again and has too much to drink and stumbles out of the bar and returns again unable to stop its on going drinking habit which it learned to do the first time it went into the bar to sit down and drink and leave if only for a moment.
- Being well fried, the Dangling Modifiers enjoyed the pork chops.
- An ellipsis walks into a bar…
- A palindrome walks up to a girl in a bar and says, "Madam, I'm Adam."
- An unnecessary Oxford comma walks into a bar, drinks, and leaves.
- A conjunction joined two phrases at a bar.
How many of them did you understand? That's why every writer needs an editor!